Nanny

When parents see their child begin walking, or saying those first complete sentences – or, at least, partial sentences – they know they’ve entered the toddler years. Your child technically enters the toddler phase after their first birthday, and stay there until they are almost four.  These years are filled with many joyous moments, but they can present challenges to even the most patient and devoted parent. In this article, we do a deep dive into some of the most challenging hurdles parents and other caregivers face during the toddler years, and suggest a few strategies for dealing with each one of them.

1. Keep their routine consistent in order for smooth sailing.

Naturally every family, on occasion disrupts their routine for, perhaps a special event like a reunion out of state or a holiday in another city. But toddlers need consistency in every part of their lives – their bedtime, meal times, and other elements of their daily schedule. Counting on small things occurring at the same time each day and night allows your toddler to focus on bigger things. Letting them skip meals or stay up late is laying the groundwork for physical and psychological problems later on.

2. Potty training too early may pose more problems than benefits.

Unfortunately, potty training has become something of a competitive sport between some parents – “whose toddler successfully used the potty first? Who is out of diapers even at night?”  But rushing your toddler creates stress and if they are not doing well or using it properly at first, that makes them feel like a failure. If they see disappointment in your eyes, that makes it all much worse. This can lead to insecurity and self-esteem issues in childhood and even later on, as adults. As the experts often say, no child ever makes it to college without being potty trained, so relax!

3. Don’t ditch the crib too early.

This is a surprisingly common mistake many parents make, in the belief that their toddler wants a “grownup bed” like, perhaps, their siblings have. But getting rid of the crib can mean a parent winds up laying down with the toddler night after night because they don’t feel secure or comfortable in a big bed. When that happens, poor or disrupted sleep patterns can occur for both parent and toddler. Experts suggest parents should wait until their toddler asks for a regular bed, usually between the ages of two and three, or when the child is approximately 35 inches long.

4. Expand their menu away from just simple foods.

Do you find yourself serving one meal repeatedly in order to avoid fights and tears about food? Have you been serving mac n’ cheese over and over again because it’s the only food your toddler doesn’t refuse to eat? Unfortunately, giving in to these demands only makes picky eating worse. As soon as your child starts eating adult food, be sure to offer them an array of things on the dinner table. Food contests are sometimes the most frustrating issue parents have to face, but if you offer them a selection of healthy foods (let’s say, for example, lean meat, a salad, some raw veggies and a glass of milk) they may choose one or two and if they leave the others for now, it’s not a big deal. And be sure to keep trying – what a toddler eats one month might be completely different the next, so keep putting the olives out beside the cheese plate and fruit bowl, and sooner or later they will get curious and sample something.

5. Limit screen time.

This is a controversial topic in today’s digital world, but one thing experts agree on is this: early and heavy exposure to screens is not good for a baby or toddler’s eyesight, attention span or intellectual development. Postpone their engagement with screens as long as possible, even the tablet or phone. Give them books even before they can read, and engage in other creative endeavors like drawing, and monitor them closely once you do allow time for watching programs or playing a simple game on your phone. It is inevitable and even beneficial that they engage with screens as they get older, but as toddlers, the less time they spend with screens the better.

6. Don’t think you can control every tantrum.

You can’t – it’s that simple. Lots of parents become embarrassed or feel judged if their toddler has a “meltdown” when other people are around, particularly if they are in a large public place like a shopping center. Remember: your toddler is who matters, not the people standing around staring, so deal with it quickly and decisively. Usually, it’s a matter of fatigue and overstimulation in a busy environment, so taking them somewhere quiet often makes the tantrum dissipate.

7. Don’t jump in to help them at the first sign of a struggle.

Naturally, a parent’s inclination is to step in and help when they see their toddler having a hard time with a task, or struggling to complete something, like a jigsaw puzzle. And yet, it’s far wiser to let them work through the challenge by themselves. Doing it for them sends the message that handling tasks by themselves isn’t a good thing – which it is! If they genuinely can’t figure something out after a little time has elapsed and they ask for help, of course it’s fine to offer guidance. But rather than solving the problem or doing the task for them, why not offer a clue about the answer, and let them come to the solution on their own? That fosters independence as well as mental acuity.

SOURCE: Elite Nannies

No matter if you have outside or in-home childcare, one of the best things you can do for your child is to keep up a good association with the child­care providers. The most crucial element of a good relationship is communication. It goes without saying that you should feel comfortable bringing any of your concerns relating to your child’s care to the day care provider. Remember, however, that it is just as important that the caregiver be at ease bringing up her childcare-related issues to you.

The best way to make your childcare provider comfortable with you is to treat her with respect. Always speak politely to her, not only for her benefit, but for your child’s as well. You are the example that your child is most likely to follow as he or she grows up. Similarly, you should not condescend the caregiver. Even a nanny, who is technically an employee of yours, should be treated as an important helper in your job of raising your child.

You also should show a great deal of interest in your child’s progress in the day care setting. If the day care center or family day care provider does not give you a regular, written report on your child’s day or week in the facility, ask for one.

Out-of-Home Caregivers

One advantage of an outside caregiver over a nanny is that you will not have to worry about the caregiver leaving for another family. Still, when you leave your child with someone else for a large part of the day, you do want to be sure that you have a good rapport with her. Your child’s interests are best served when all of those who have responsibility for his or her well-being can speak freely about his or her care and development.

Day care center staff are typically overworked and underpaid. Like many teachers, early childhood workers often purchase supplies for their classrooms out of their own pockets. Family day care is almost always a small-budget operation. Donating gently used toys or other items that your family no longer needs and that can be used in your child’s day care is a great way to earn you the appreciation of the caregiver. If you do not have the means to donate anything, see if you can spend some time volunteering in the facility. Perhaps you can offer to lead a craft or play a game with some of the children. If the only time you have available is at the end of the day when you come to pick up your own child, offer to help straighten up your child’s classroom. Taking some of the work off the hands of the caregivers is likely to win you undying gratitude. Even if you have no extra time to spend in the room, you could ask if they have any work that you can bring home to help out, such as typing up the day care center’s newsletter or repairing broken toys.

In-Home Caregivers

It may be necessary to treat the in-home childcare providers more delicately than it would be for the day care center or family day care staff. If the nanny or au pair becomes unhappy with her situation as the childcare provider in your home, she may simply leave. A good nanny or au pair is tough to find. If you have a good one, you will want to do all you can to hang on to her.

Some childcare experts suggest that a weekly or other regular parent/nanny conference be held from the beginning of the employment or au pair relationship, so that it is a habit right away rather than something you do not bother with until there is an actual problem.

Do not look at these conferences as merely a way for you to air your grievances or correct what you may see as flaws in your nanny’s handling of various situations. They are also an invaluable way for you to get another perspective on your child’s development. Not only might your nanny have good parenting ideas that you may not have thought of, but she just might observe things about your child that either you have never noticed or your child has never shown you. For example, your nanny might bring out a talent or interest in your child that you would not have otherwise ever discovered. Weekly conferences should serve as a dialogue that assists you in your parenting duties by giving you a fresh perspective of your child.

In the same way that many out-of-home caregivers provide written reports on the progress of the children in their care, the nanny should be willing to give you a summary of your child’s day or week while you were at work. One nanny organization recommends having the nanny keep a journal of your child’s activities for you to review. It does not have to be lengthy, just a short journal entry each day or so to keep you up-to-date on what your child is doing. This would be a good topic to discuss with potential nannies during the hiring process, so they are not taken by surprise when you add this task to their duties after they have been hired.

Sticking to the terms of your employment contract with the nanny is one of the best ways to avoid disagreements with her as time goes on. If you have an agreement to employ the nanny for 45 hours of childcare per week, with overtime on an as-needed basis, do not take advantage of the nanny by regularly asking her to work overtime (unless she asked for additional work hours). Even if you are paying her time-and-a-half for the extra work, at some point her time will be worth more to her than the additional pay. She may become resentful if you repeatedly come in later than expected.

Another point of difficulty can be raised when the nanny gives you a bad report about your child’s behavior. If you do not follow through by giving your child a consequence for the misbehavior, your child may come to understand that the nanny’s reports to you have no undesirable result for him or her. Not only will this teach your child that he or she can act as he or she pleases when in the nanny’s care, it will undermine the childcare providers’ position in your household. This may offend the nanny as well as render her ineffectual.

If you are not certain that your nanny’s version of events is accurate, by all means, investigate further. However, if you simply fail to follow up on her report with a repercussion for your child, you may be sowing the seeds for a failed relationship with your childcare providers.

Using common sense in dealing with your nanny will go a long way toward keeping you both happy with the caregiver relationship. There are bound to be differences of opinion with her from time to time. It is not crucial that you are in agreement at all times. What is most important for the stability of your childcare providers over the long term is the manner in which you deal with potential conflicts when they arise. Your tone and the attitude that you take when discussing problems with your nanny will be what determines how your family’s relationship with her continues in the future.

SOURCE: Family Education